Process

Ten days with family...it was interesting to say the least. My whole family flew to Nebraska on the 20th to see my mom's brother and his wife and six children ranging from the ages of 12- 4. That sunday we went to their church and I really liked it. It was a small church and the pastor there was like a cross between James and our Mayfield speaker, Leroy. He yelled and he insulted people! He also paced between the rows, which was cool, because the church was so small.

Tuesday we left after all 6 kids prayed that our car would break down so we could stay with them forever (EEK!) and drove six hours to stockholm, South Dakota. Population:105
It's like the whole state is made up of small towns! Except for like two
cities, the whole state has populations under 300 in little towns!
AND ALL THE BLASTED CORN! The midwest is nothing but corn and soybeans. Miles of corn....I'm so sick of that.

The wedding was nice though...but I had a weird attitude throughout the whole thing. Noelle, who was getting married, is the youngest of the 3 girls my aunt has. The eldest, Holly, has a live-in boyfriend who we got to know...he's funny but I don't think I could stand living with him...under ANY circumstances.
The middle used to have a boyfriend but doesn't anymore...he lives in Italy. But the three girls aren't christian. ANd i think Noelle lived with her boyfriend before they got married...they all drink and curse and...it was weird. I was in a totally new and different place...it was a bit of a shock to say the least.

But I guess I'm glad to be home. And tmr I get back into the "Albany groove"...starting with prayer (yea!) and Passion of the Christ.

The youth is changing. We have a youth pastor who wants it to be different and also teens who think is should be diferent. It's going in a direction that probably none of us would've thought of, but all of us really needed.

I just hope that things don't become stagnant in ten years. I really hope that the SACC youth with continue on this path and when my children go to this church (if they do) they'll learn and grow in new dimensions, just as I am.

i love my best friend lacy fox!!! camp sucked without her...(ok here's theresa)

So I already wrote this once...but I’m stupid and lost it. *sigh*

It's weird how when you think God's not talking to you...He really is. That was my problem two years ago at Camp...I was discouraged because I never heard God speaking to me.

Now I know I just wasn't paying attention.

I used to think that God spoke with a lightening bolt and the voice in my head was actually going to be deep and so much different from my own...It isn't. It's obvious now that God speaks through the wind and the things you see and the people that are supposed to lead you through your walk with God.

Camp was amazing. I absolutely amazing. Through the early morning showers, the gross bathrooms, the dusty roads, hot temps and paper thin mattresses, I not only learned things I never knew, but experienced God.

Also, I found that the all too common Sunday school answers is something you can learn over and over again. For me it was the all known, we don't deserve God's love because we are UNWORTHY. That seems to be obvious enough, but the fact is, this concept isn't something to be memorized and then recited later, but something to live. That because we aren't worthy, that means even the people you hate and can't stand aren't worthy, therefore you are both loved and both on level ground to God.

The one thing about camp that wasn't amazing was how I acted. That people who tried to tell me how they felt and what their opinions on how my Christian walk was going...I shrugged it off and disagreed with them. What they said was totally uplifting and should've made me feel great...and good about how my walk with God was going... but I'm afraid I might've offended them and made them think otherwise of me. I just felt so discouraged about what I was doing. The one thing that should be easy for me, isn’t. Praying for my unsaved father. And for me I see that as a weakness, so I thought God did/does too. If I can’t even pray for my own father, how am I supposed to pray for anyone else?

But today in church Jeremy Gange talked about Elijah and how he wasn’t perfect, and a lot of things in that sermon reminded me of what people told me at camp…About me and my walk…
So I’m sorry in other words to the people I might’ve offened and I’m sorry if I let you down, because I always appreciated the fact that you believed in the people in the youth group and the youth group in general. I just thought, maybe you saw something in me that was too big…and that wasn’t happening yet…and that I might have to live up to.

But I have a strong feeling this is what God’s trying to tell me, and He’s doing it with the people who lead me spiritually and through the people who I look up to. And maybe a 2x4.

People are interesting. And so are words.

It's interesting how someone can forever break you...especially of people with love between them. I've seen so many people been broken for weeks and months on end because of a love relationship that fell apart. Whether it be between two friends or a couple...it's a lasting thing that stays with you most of your life.

It's also interesting how words can affect you so deeply. There's a saying that goes, "I might not remember what you said, but I remember how I felt". How true. One right word might stick with someone for a week, but one wrong word will stick with someone for more than months.

It seems so obvious. People get attached to people, and then words break them apart or bring them together. But it's almost sickening how one person can be so heartbroken and so hurt and so...damaged over someone else.

So why, after so many mistakes of the human race, haven't we learned to guard our mouths and our hearts? To remember that nothing is final with a boy or girl until marriage and nothing is final with your parents until they pass away and nothing is EVER final with God? and that you're friends most likely will move away.

That the words you say can never be taken back and neither will the actions. That no matter how hard you try you will always have some heartache if you don't guard your mouth and your heart.

I would bet big money on the fact that the devil LOVES it when we don't guard ourselves...knowing that we'll mess up and eventually, get hurt.

Too bad we can't gain the wisdom of 54 years of life when we're 17. Too bad we can't get God's exact plan for our lives when we're 4. I guess that's what the bibles for...and good pastors...and good spiritual mentors...and the Holy spirit. To help us through the big mess ups and the emotional and spiritual 'scrapes' of life.

Camp Mayfield is getting closer. It happens every year...and I remember every year I've gone. I've been there four years...going on five. I'm kinda excited. But this reminds me of something James told the youth group a while ago- about getting a spiritual high after accepting Christ at an alter call, and then a week later do everything the same way. I wonder how many kids do that from Camp...I know that I used to. Go to camp and 'be spiritual' but then the week I got home- nothing would be the same.

People have been on my mind a lot lately. While I was up in Seattle, and I saw people I started looking past their appearence and started thinking about their eternal destination. Wondering if they believed in anything, and if it was Jesus...or if they had been disappointed by Christians and Jesus and God...

It's starting to freak me out...but I can't stop. This will probably be on my mind at camp as well. When I'm surrounded by Christians, I might end up doubting them, thinking them only 'week Christians' who are true christians for the week and then return to their normal lifestyle after camp.

I really shouldn't do that...right? Because the judging is up to Jesus Christ. Not to me. But I'm not going up to random people and asking if their true christians or not...but still- i find this a little 'off' and wrong.

Lets hope I'll remember this at Camp.